It's the little things that matter...

I ate lunch at a popular sandwich shop this week and love to people watch.  Yes, I’m one of those.  Reading people’s body language, demeanor – it fascinates me.  So I was watching these two ladies, obviously good friends chatting away over lunch.  When they were done, they both got up.  One of them took her plastic tray and trash and disposed of it while the other just left hers on the table.

From my window view, I watched the lady who didn’t clean up her “stuff” slide into her black BMW and drive off.  I sat and stared at the tray and trash, seeing a few other dirty tables around me, but knowing it was noon hour and the workers never caught many breaks as the line was consistent.  Eventually one of them would make the rounds, wipe tables and clean up this ladies trash.

My take on this was one that I’ve been emphasizing to my daughter lately – it’s the little things in life. Like routine of making her bead, opening her window blinds come morning right down to brushing teeth and hair.  Some mornings I feel like a nag – so we had a chat that if she can’t do the little routine things with joy and without being constantly told – eventually on a job, she won’t do the little necessary things either.  Sometimes life is routine and those things just need to be done.  It’s those small things that grow into life lessons and reflect work ethic as well. 

I’ve seen this in many settings before, some people are the “cleaners” and some just leave a mess behind them.  Some have said messy people are more creative.  I like to think I have a creative side, and yes, I have messes in places in my life – but I also love order and cleanliness. 

It takes effort to do the little things in life.  Often people that do them go unnoticed or appreciated.  The role of parents can be this way.  In trying not to raise entitled children – we ask them to learn to do those little things, growing to larger things, that teach responsibility and grow to maturity.  Sometimes it works – sometimes it doesn’t.  But we try.

So as I put away the trash….I’m grateful for parents that taught me the little things matter in life.

My word for 2020 is JOY.

So many people pursue this not knowing that true joy is not purchased at the mall or on Amazon.  Joy isn’t a trophy you can hang on a shelf or a car parked in your garage. You’re not going to find it in designer clothes, the latest fad diets or title you carry – 

it’s how you LIVE. 

It’s what you value and how you feel. It’s going through hard times and choosing to keep your chin up. 

It’s the impact you make on others. 

It’s giving love even when it’s hard.

That joy you’re searching so hard for? You’re just looking in all the wrong places. It’s not found in SOMEONE ELSE'S life. 

It’s right in front of you.  

It’s the mess you’ve cleaned for the fiftieth time.

It’s the kids laughing in the living room.

It's the "I love you" snap from your adulting kids. 

It's fighting T1D along with your child, teaching them Joy despite their disease. 

It's loving the addict you can't save.

It’s building a life together no matter how messy and chaotic.

It’s fighting for your marriage through the not so great times only to emerge on the other side stronger than ever.

It’s getting up through tired eyes knowing that today you get one more day on this earth.

Joy isn’t a destination, it’s a state of being. A conscious mindset of being grateful every single day. 

Is it always easy? No. Choose it anyway. Every single day. My goal for 2020.  

Choose Joy.

Be the Corn Stalk in the Soy Bean Field

So – I’ve been driving by these pristine fields of soy beans – all even, weed free – beautifully smooth to the OCD person they’d give joy, uniform plants, etc.  Same with the corn fields – tall evenly spaced, same height fields.  But then….there is the one field, sparse places, some beautiful even sections, but some areas with random corn stalks growing tall out of the soy beans.  It’s given me lots to ponder as I do my little country commute to work.

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So, my first thoughts are like this.  Dear daughter of mine, who is struggling with the start of school, managing her newly diagnosed T1 Diabetes amid learning delays and peer issues.  I’ve shown her this field and said:  “See that corn stalk – be the corn stalk.  Stand tall, bear your corn cob proudly amid the many soy beans around you.  Walk your walk.  Be you.  Be proud. Different is Ok.” 

Sometimes I  honesty wish she’d “blend” and “be like all the others – just fit in more” – have those tribes of friends that let you play and not turn you away.  Have a posse of gals calling, coming to play.  The other weekend a random gal showed up to play on a Saturday – we had plans to leave, but I threw them away recognizing the importance of this newer friend coming to play.  It was nice. 

I have to realize, her destiny God given path is being that corn stalk in a soy bean world.  Finding those that embrace her anyways, lifts my heart and gives me hope.  On the days she comes home from school with tales of sadness, I just hold up my corn stalk with support of love to bear against the winds that try to blow her down.

In a society of norms – different scares folks.  But it is that difference we need to look at, live with and embrace.  It takes more work.  It isn’t easy.  It makes us squirm sometimes. Did God know she’d need parents like us?  He gave her to us to help her walk this path the best we can. Who knows what else lies ahead?  Time will tell – it always does. 

So – dear corn stalk – hang in there.  You will not be wanted at soy bean harvest time, but there is a season for corn harvest.  In our season of life you are cherished, loved and wanted greatly! 

May we all find our season and embrace it.

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

By Peter Seeger