Life Lessons from Softball Socks

Our high school held a home game, and the dress code was white pants and black socks.  My daughter has been diligent to make sure she has the right stuff for games, despite being a JV player on the bench during Varsity games.  (It’s okay – she missed a few years, and her skill set isn’t there…yet.)

On one particular Friday home game, one of the Varsity players didn’t have the black socks everyone was wearing, and my daughter’s kind heart borrowed her, her only pair of black socks for that game, despite her looking the odd one out in white socks, she did it our of kindness for a team mate. 

At the end of the game, my daughter simply asked for her socks back, as they were her only black pair.  The gal said she needed them to go home in because she didn’t have others and would get them back to her the next week at practice.  That day came and the socks weren’t returned.  By the next day, 3 days later, my daughter once again asked and again – no socks returned.  She messaged me, frustrated and I said, “heh, I know the mom, I’ll simply ask her to remind her daughter to return them” no big deal.  Well, the mom wasn't impressed with my request, didn’t know her daughter had loaned my daughter's socks in the first place and messaged her daughter angrily about it.  The daughter then turned and lashed at my daughter in anger for getting her in trouble. And my mama bear heart sank. 

9 days went by.  No returned socks.  I ordered a new pair for the next home game, Amazon Prime for the win during a busy time so I did not have to run to stores looking for softball socks.  I told my daughter, let it go and just see if she returns them by the next home game.  11 days later, home game day arrived, no socks and in the meantime this gal got others to “take her side” and hassle my daughter….”it’s just socks….”  Yes, exactly, it’s just socks that show your moral character and how a simple “here are your socks back, thank you so much for helping me out” isn’t capable of coming from her mouth. 

I told my daughter let it go, do not say anything anymore.  The life lesson you receive from the softball socks drama is that some people, no matter how kind you are to them will be narcissistic in nature back to you.  The old “stab you in the back” has a literal feel to this story.  I’m sad that this child who received the borrowed socks couldn’t rise to return them to their rightful owner right away or at all.  Knowingly keeping them and being continually angry with my daughter who did nothing wrong but be kind.  My daughter said she would never help her again, and I find a sadness in this life lesson she is taking away from simple softball socks.

I also find sadness for this girl that probably was chewed out by her Mom, that she has to kick the dog (my daughter) so to speak.  Her life will not be easy if this is how she deals with things in her life, for that I’m sad. Sad that she simply couldn’t return what was borrowed to her with a simply “thank you.” That was all my daughter needed, not the drama that pursued. 

Life is like that.  Kind people often get hurt the most.  Jesus calls us to love and forgive.  Move on.  Realize there are many softball socks to be lost in our Jesus walk as we are called to extend kindness, even when it isn’t returned.  So this will serve as a reminder to my daughter, be kind anyway, we can buy more softball socks in life.  Don’t let this experience dull your loving kind heart! 

It's the little things that matter...

I ate lunch at a popular sandwich shop this week and love to people watch.  Yes, I’m one of those.  Reading people’s body language, demeanor – it fascinates me.  So I was watching these two ladies, obviously good friends chatting away over lunch.  When they were done, they both got up.  One of them took her plastic tray and trash and disposed of it while the other just left hers on the table.

From my window view, I watched the lady who didn’t clean up her “stuff” slide into her black BMW and drive off.  I sat and stared at the tray and trash, seeing a few other dirty tables around me, but knowing it was noon hour and the workers never caught many breaks as the line was consistent.  Eventually one of them would make the rounds, wipe tables and clean up this ladies trash.

My take on this was one that I’ve been emphasizing to my daughter lately – it’s the little things in life. Like routine of making her bead, opening her window blinds come morning right down to brushing teeth and hair.  Some mornings I feel like a nag – so we had a chat that if she can’t do the little routine things with joy and without being constantly told – eventually on a job, she won’t do the little necessary things either.  Sometimes life is routine and those things just need to be done.  It’s those small things that grow into life lessons and reflect work ethic as well. 

I’ve seen this in many settings before, some people are the “cleaners” and some just leave a mess behind them.  Some have said messy people are more creative.  I like to think I have a creative side, and yes, I have messes in places in my life – but I also love order and cleanliness. 

It takes effort to do the little things in life.  Often people that do them go unnoticed or appreciated.  The role of parents can be this way.  In trying not to raise entitled children – we ask them to learn to do those little things, growing to larger things, that teach responsibility and grow to maturity.  Sometimes it works – sometimes it doesn’t.  But we try.

So as I put away the trash….I’m grateful for parents that taught me the little things matter in life.

My word for 2020 is JOY.

So many people pursue this not knowing that true joy is not purchased at the mall or on Amazon.  Joy isn’t a trophy you can hang on a shelf or a car parked in your garage. You’re not going to find it in designer clothes, the latest fad diets or title you carry – 

it’s how you LIVE. 

It’s what you value and how you feel. It’s going through hard times and choosing to keep your chin up. 

It’s the impact you make on others. 

It’s giving love even when it’s hard.

That joy you’re searching so hard for? You’re just looking in all the wrong places. It’s not found in SOMEONE ELSE'S life. 

It’s right in front of you.  

It’s the mess you’ve cleaned for the fiftieth time.

It’s the kids laughing in the living room.

It's the "I love you" snap from your adulting kids. 

It's fighting T1D along with your child, teaching them Joy despite their disease. 

It's loving the addict you can't save.

It’s building a life together no matter how messy and chaotic.

It’s fighting for your marriage through the not so great times only to emerge on the other side stronger than ever.

It’s getting up through tired eyes knowing that today you get one more day on this earth.

Joy isn’t a destination, it’s a state of being. A conscious mindset of being grateful every single day. 

Is it always easy? No. Choose it anyway. Every single day. My goal for 2020.  

Choose Joy.